Margin Monday

As I come off a time of vacation, I feel like an astronaut re-entering the earth's atmosphere.  Coming from a place of quietness and serene beauty, I am suddenly thrust into an atmosphere of noise and chaos and come hurdling down with a giant splash, sinking down into the depths of reality and gasping for air as I come up among the waves of reality -- emails and phone calls to return, work demands and deadlines piled sky high while I was gone, appointments, household chores and the dailies of life.  The rest, relaxation and restoration I sought is basically vaporized by the clamor and pressure of reality.  In a word, ugh!

Can you relate?  Are you facing this same problem as you think about an upcoming vacation, or have horror stories of your own re-entries from the past?

How do we combat this physical and emotional battle and bring alive more of the R&R each day?  Today is July 1st, the beginning of the second half of 2013.  It is a perfect time to start something new, and I am going to set myself a goal of doing just that  for the rest of the year - intentionally planting seeds of the calm and quiet peacefulness that replenishes me during those fleeting vacation days. Won't you join me?

Throughout the summer I will be staying with the theme of "Margin Monday" as we look at ways to be mentally/emotionally fit.  From the old Seinfeld show, we'll use the father of George Castanza's battle cry - "SERENITY NOW!!!!"  

I will be sharing a variety of methods for us to seed, grow and nurture this goal of mindfully having a garden of sanctuary for our souls - time and stress management techniques, inspirational and motivational quotes, books and websites. By taking action on little bits of wisdom and advice and using them as the seeds for your soul sanctuary, you will begin the process of creating a life less stressed and more nourishing, less crammed and more spacious... more less, and less more!  

The first "seed" I'd like to offer you is from a great book that I highly recommend (and one that I am highlighting as our book of the month choice), Richard A. Swenson's "A Minute of Margin".  He originally wrote the book "Margins" (a previous book of the month here), and from that created this lovely gem of daily reflections that quiet, inspire and offer practical advice.  So grab a cup of chamomile tea, sit back and take a few moments to exercise your soul gardening skills.  

Blessings,

Coach Linda

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            It is important to understand our emotional reserves.  It is important to understand how much we have at the beginning of each day and which influences drain our emotions dry or recharge our batteries.  It is important to learn what our limits are and not to take further withdrawals if we are already maximally depleted.  And it is important to respect these limits in others.

            We often have trouble accepting the idea of rationing our emotional energy.  It is simply too difficult to quantify feelings.  We feel ashamed admitting that our spirit is exhausted.  But our hesitancy in no way constitutes proof that such limits are only a convenient fiction for the weak.  Instead our hesitancy is an obstacle to overcome.  Margin gives us permission.

            Rx:  First, identify those triggers that drain you disproportionately – financial difficulties, argumentative children, traffic, noise, sleeplessness, work overload, negative people.  Perhaps you cannot change the external event itself, but you can either decrease exposure to such events or develop more personal control over your response.  Second, identify those activities that enhance emotional resilience – positive people, laughter, rest, music, worship, prayer, Scripture reading, accomplishment, sports, hiking, fishing.  Specifically schedule space in your energy budget for this important recharging of your batteries.

A Minute of Margin by Richard A. Swenson

Finally Friday!

Why yes, it HAS been THAT kind of a week.  And it's time for Coach Linda to practice what she preaches.  I'm about to walk the talk and do a little down time for rest, restoration and renewal.  Sleep, reading, writing, reflection... time to go back to BEING.  So I'm signing off for a few days and I'll be back on Monday July 1st. Prayers of blessings to you all, wild women!

Love,

Coach Linda

Wild Woman Wednesday

I recently read a blog posting by Renee Trudeau where she wrote about weekends.  Two things stuck out in my mind.  The first was that she read a statistic that said Facebook experiences the highest volume of traffic on Sunday morning.  She also wrote that “weekends should be primarily for rejuvenation and rest – not for getting stuff done.”

When I was a little girl growing up, the state of New Jersey had something called “blue laws”:  which prohibited much general commerce.  Most stores were closed on Sundays in observance of a day of worship or rest.  You didn’t do a lot of shopping on Sundays… in fact, you didn’t do a lot of anything as I recall.  It was almost a forced time of sabbath, and by that I mean a setting aside of a day as special for prayer and a period of rest.  I remember Sundays as a time when family would come over for the regular Sunday dinner.  We would gather together at my grandmother’s house, and Grandmom would use the good china, glasses and silverware for the sumptuous meal she would prepare for the family, and the visiting aunts, uncles and cousins.  After the meal we would help clean up, then go and play and enjoy the day outside when it was warm enough.  There were no video games, no texting... just enjoying the sunshine, making up games, board games when it rained, coloring, crafts and creativity.

Another thing I remember about Sundays was going to church.  We would go to Sunday school, and then to worship service in the big sanctuary and we’d spend time before and after the service visiting with the other members – friends we saw during the week and folks we only saw at church on Sundays.  I looked forward to the Sunday school where I would see my once-a-week friends; we’d listen to the Sunday school teacher and learn a Bible lesson, and usually do a craft and sing songs together and play.  Even as I write this I smile and feel warm as the memories flow over me.  Sundays, that time of sacred and restful sabbath, were special, a time set aside like no other day of the week.

Fast forward (and I do mean FAST forward) to 2013 to a world where technology rules, we are accessible by any/everyone 24/7/365 via cell phones, email and text messaging.  Quiet, restful Sunday time has been replaced by the kids’ sports which are scheduled on Sunday mornings, running around playing catch-up with chores and activities you couldn’t finish on Saturday.  Almost all stores are open early morning till far after dark to sell, sell, sell.  We are not simply engrossed in the hustle and bustle of life – rather the day is full speed ahead at a frenetic pace leaving us frazzled, exhausted and frequently depressed.  The new “blue law” is that by Sunday night, instead of feeling rested, relaxed, refreshed and rejuvenated, we’re collapsing and miserable as we deal with the “where did the weekend go, I’m so tired and I don’t wanna go to work tomorrow” BLUES!  We drop into bed far later than we should and wonder what has happened and how can we stop this vicious blur of a merry-go-round ride on steriods?  No wonder Facebook sees such a surge on Sunday mornings – the caring community of worship and gathering of family and friends to share a meal and fellowship has been trampled and lost, and we’re left feeling lonely and empty.

However… there is hope.  You have the power and the choice and the right to STOP AND SAY NO!  Instead of conforming to the world’s insanity, instead become the instrument of transformation for you and your family and friends.  You can bring back the sacredness of sabbath by setting aside Sundays  (or Saturdays, if that is your given sabbath) and guarding those boundaries like a rabid pit bull.  Reschedule your calendar so all your chores are done before Sunday.  Open your home to family and friends for special Sunday meals – have pot luck dinners if you don’t cook or to ease the load on you as the sole chef.  It doesn't have to be elaborate - something as relaxed/simple as a hot bowl of tomato soup with a grilled cheese sandwich is always tastier when shared in a relaxed environment around a table with special people in your life.  Make time to sleep a bit later,  go and worship as a family.  Plan to talk a walk or a drive to a local park.

Underschedule your day so that you don’t necessarily have to be somewhere or do something all day long.  Teach your children to just “be”, to learn to rest and enjoy the moment. Turn off the TV, read, nap… gently get ready for your upcoming week.  Make it a technology sabbath as well by turning off the gadgets or at least minimizing their use.  Create a special day just for you and your loved ones.  Yes, it will be odd and possibly resisted or downright opposed/challenged at first as it’s completely opposite of what society now holds so dear – the go-go-go that leaves us unsatisfied and unfulfilled.  But stand firm and keep those boundary lines intact!

Wild women, this is my hope and prayer for you this week – that you will buck the system, go against the flow, and wildly recapture a sabbath day for yourself, your own sanity and for those you hold dear.  Exercise your right to hit the off switch and reclaim the peace and tranquility you so need at least one day a week.  After all, even God rested on the seventh day!

Blessings,

Coach Linda

Flock to the Shops till You Drop Friday

So, did you stay up past your bedtime last night going out to the pre-black Friday bargain opportunities at 10pm or midnight? Did you get up at half-past dark-thirty to join others $eeking to $ubstantially $ave big bucks before most of us even thought of our morning coffee? I wonder how many calories you burned today in your battle against the mall madness to find the Holy Grail sale?

Personally, I took the opportunity of having today off to get some extra sleep and take advantage of some down time to watch an old movie or two and catch up on some studying and homework assignments. Then I went out tonight and celebrated my friend’s birthday with her. It was an unusually relaxing day, for which I am thankful. I also found myself not wanting to eat a lot of food – I kept things light. While I didn’t pig out yesterday, I still did eat more than I normally do on a given day, so I wanted to “detox” a bit.

How about you? Are you tired? Feeling overfed? Wondering when you will find a bit of rest and relaxation this long weekend? Friend, let me suggest you exercise your “time for me” muscles over the next day or two. Whether you have been battling the crowds while shopping and overspending, dealing with relatives or stress by overeating, or generally just overdoing it, it is time to slow down a bit. Perhaps you can find 15 minutes to walk outside by yourself, taking time to breath, admire the beauty and healing nature provides, and just the peace and quiet a short walk alone can give you. If you are like many other women, the demands of the preparation and clean-up of the Thanksgiving meal, and the associated visits and guests, along with the demands the rest of the weekend will bring, can leave you feeling as tired as a wrung-out dishrag, as my grandmother used to say.

For the rest of the weekend, be sure to eat smaller meals, within your caloric range, and hydrate often with water. Stick to more veggies and fruit, and resist the temptation to eat past the stage of satisfaction. Walk away from that second piece of pie, and eat slower so your body signals can tell you when you are truly full. Thanksgiving is not permission to become the gluttony goddess!

May the rest of your holiday weekend bring you blessings and joy and healthy eating!

Blessings,
Linda

Frugal Friday

We usually link frugality with monetary economics. However, this weekend, I'd like you to think of it more as personal physical economics. How can you curb the spending of yourself? Think of ways to block off small amounts of time for yourself -- take 15 minutes to breath and stretch. Talk a walk, take a nap, turn off the TV early and read or just go to bed early for a change. Even change turns into dollars, so think of little bits of time as adding up to a better investment in YOU! Relax, renew, recooperate -- take stock in yourself, and watch the dividends of less stress and better health rise!!!