Wild women... watch their words. I know I've written about this before, but it's always worth another visit. Recently one of my dearest friends found herself in two separate situations where another woman felt it was perfectly appropriate to verbally dump all over my friend, to vent and yell and be controlling and altogether inappropriate, just plan rude/crude. Mean girls grow up and become mean women, it seems on occasion.
You may be having a really lousy day - fine. You may be going through all kinds of hurt and pain that no one else knows about - fine. The job, the hubs, the significant other, the lack of one, the kids, the lack of kids, the dog or cat or WHATEVER could be working your last nerve. No one is asking you to pretend to not be hurting or upset or grieving or PMSing or menopausing.... I'm not saying put on a plastic princess Barbie smile mask and go all kinds of la-dee-dah like you've just had a quaalude bagel with two shots and a beer to wash it down.
You feel yuck - baby, feel it! Sit with it, do what you need to do... but it doesn't give you license to verbally snipe at someone and shoot them square in the face with your bad 'tude. Sticks and stones may break the bones, but words can break the heart! You have no right to dump on another person. Give a sister a stinkin' break!!!! You go off like a loaded bomb and she is the innocent victim of your terroristic tongue tantrum, left with stinging shrapnel wounds, bleeding... because you couldn't hold your tongue, your temper or your 'tude.
And another thing while I'm on a roll here... If you have something to say, grow a good solid big set of ovaries, pull up your big girl panties and have the courage to sit with me and communicate your grievances or concerns instead of hiding behind your passive-aggressive petticoats. I had that happen to me yesterday in a meeting - instead of voicing her opinion/disagreement with me, which would have been more than appropriate, another woman got all snarky/smarmy and "what-ev-ah" and put on her best martyr face like I had shot her dog... and she was all "oh, that's okay, I'm fine... really.. it's okay..." Be true to yourself and your voice, women, but have the gumption to speak your mind intelligently, calmly and with respect.
Please... if you are hurting... I am truly sorry and I hope you have a good friend with whom you could share your pain... or a therapist... maybe a walk or just a few minutes of healing deep breathing could take the edge off if just for a moment. And yes, sometimes there ain't nuthin' like a good cry to cleanse the soul. Ain't NO shame in that. But don't be a mean girl and take it out on someone else. Don't dump a mouthful of manure on an unsuspecting bystander. Take the higher road...
With gentle love and kind blessings,
Coach Linda Bush