There are times in life when we will experience some type of loss. Perhaps your little baby boy or girl is beginning their first day of school today and you have a mixed bag of emotions as you stand with them at the bus stop. You may have been disappointed at the loss of a promotion or assignment. You may be going through the loss of a friendship or romantic relationship/marriage. Maybe you are losing the battle to some health issue, or just getting older and dealing with the loss of youth. There may be a dream that has died, or a failure which has left you in the rubble. From death to the loss of joy/hope, it leaves an ache, possibly pain so devastating you can barely breath… wordless prayers that run down your face without ceasing… the numbness that one only feels when all passes and you are left with an empty shell that once was your heart.
Big or small, your pain is your pain. What is your coping mechanism? Do you anesthetize your soul with drink or too much medication? Too much or not enough eating? Shop yourself into debt? Do you sit in front of the television like a couch zombie? Find yourself aimlessly roaming around, losing things, wanting only to pull the covers over your head in a sleep suicide escape?
In this dark valley of your soul, there is no shame in what you are feeling, nor in getting help. We need to have the courage to ask for help, or simply find a way to sit with the pain, as it washes over us like a tsunami. Know that each wave will get a little smaller in time and a little bit further apart. Again, if it doesn’t, seek out professional assistance, please.
If it is within your power to rectify the loss, or build a new dream, or repair a relationship, give it all you’ve got. If might not work out, but there will be the satisfaction of knowing you did everything within your power. Find your support in caring friends who will be there for you, strengthen you, and hold you when you cannot bear it.
And sometimes, it just means waking up and putting one foot in front of the other, taking one breath at a time, and going on when it feels impossible.
And always, always… pray. Ask for wisdom, guidance, peace, restoration, understanding, the ability to get through that next breathe. Psalm 30:5 says “… weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” Weep your tears, cry yourself to sleep… then, strong wild woman, lift your head and seek your joy in the morning. Give yourself permission to leave the graveyard of your past, and take a baby step towards towards a new day. You can do it, and you are never alone.